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Uber Stories – I Know She’s Not Sleeping

Confessions from an Uber driver

This was submitted to me by a female driver of a rideshare group. 

I usually drive late night, so picking up people from the bars is nothing new to me, nor is having them pass out in my car on the way home. When that happens, I mostly worry about them waking up to puke because I don’t want to clean up that disgusting mess. This night, I almost had a different type of mess I needed to clean up.

I had a weird feeling about this pickup when it came from a known bar area and the rider had a rating around 4.60. There have been plenty of decent experiences with people who had bad ratings, and it was a generally slow night, so I figured I would take a shot. Looking back, picking up a Scott from a bar at around 1 am is probably never the greatest idea for a female driver, but I felt a little better when I saw a girl with him. I lowered my defenses and assumed this should be just another ride giving some drunk people who may or may not be annoying a safe ride home.

This couple was pretty touchy-feely and flirty as soon as they got in the car, but I wasn’t going to cause a scene because a guy kissed his girlfriend in my car. For the most part, they ignored me which is just the way I like it on nights like that. They actually settled down a bit by the time we left the city and were driving through the backwoods of some town when I thought things were smooth sailing. They were quiet, and there was only about 15 minutes left until their destination.

That is when I took a glance in the rearview mirror and only noticed his head. My naive mind just assumed she fell asleep so I actually turned the radio down so she wouldn’t wake up. I then heard the very obvious sounds of slurping and other crap associated with a girl going down on a guy.

I froze.

What was I to do? Let them continue? Is it worth causing a scene with only a few minutes left to go?

Yes. Yes, it was.

I briefly looked back to confirm my suspicions before promptly telling them to knock off what they were doing. He replied that they weren’t doing anything and she was sleeping on his lap, but even in a very dark car it was pretty obvious that’s not what she was doing. I said “are you kidding me right now? I can clearly see what she’s doing” and this is when it got worse. He looked directly into my eyes through the rearview mirror and asked if I liked it and wanted to join.

That’s when I slammed on the brakes and told them to get out right this second. The girl – who actually talked like she had been sleeping which was a concern to me – kept apologizing for what they did and promised they would stop and just wanted to go home. It wasn’t too cold that night, so I didn’t feel all that bad about telling them no and resumed kicking them out. When I told them I probably would have accepted the apology if not for her creepy boyfriend asking if I wanted to join, she immediately woke up and said: “he did what??”. I guess she couldn’t hear him very well considering she was mostly sleeping during the act.

She had no problem getting out of the car at that point as she was furious at her boyfriend and started yelling at him from the side of the road. He slowly left the car with his head down, shut the door, and I drove off never seeing them again. I did get a peak in my mirror one last time to see her still screaming at him as I drove off, so I guess he had a rough night.  I also called Uber and reported it, and they said they would immediately deactivate his account. Hopefully the girl had her own Uber account, otherwise, it was going to be a long and uncomfortable walk back home for them.

I do feel bad about leaving her and if I could go back in time I would drive back and offer her a ride home for free, but I was just too freaked out that I wasn’t thinking clearly at that point.  Lesson learned. Be very wary of the bar scene. It’s mostly decent, but sometimes things can get a little out of hand.

 

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One comment

  1. I love this new Uber story blog!

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